I had a plan

I had a plan, a very detailed plan.....................

A plan of just how my life was going to turn out. I had it all covered.  I even had a definite timeline for every stage.

See me planning as if I created myself o.

And the first few stages of my plan went according to plan! Mehn! I was on fire and I just believed life was that predictable.

And then it happens. .........

Dunno if anyone knows this feeling, but I know it too well.......that moment when everything was just perfect minutes before that phone call came, or that person just did that thing, or that bus driver just hit your car, or that person just said that thing and then things just begin to go downhill from that point.

And then you are forced to say...."I was having a perfectly good day, and I saw how this day was going to end....just as perfectly as it started and this or that just had to go and mess it up for me"

That's what I like to call a rude awakening!

But u know what they say "if you figure it all out today, what's the point of tomorrow?"

Life is in stages and stages happen in processes. These stages and processes are ordered by the one who created us.....God.

So the next time you have a perfectly good detailed plan, just remember that the product can never really go out on its own and do whatever it likes, because the manufacturer had a specific guideline and purpose in mind.

Having said that, it is good to make plans, you just need to not be so rigid about them, that they cannot be changed. After all they are not the law of Medes and Persia. There has to be room for modifications, fine tuning and amendments and most importantly God.

Like I said, I had a plan, a very detailed one. The only problem was....it was a rigid plan and when time came to adjust and amend and fine tune, my plan crumbled in domino fashion.

What really matters..........

Saturday afternoon with way too may things to do like read, iron etc..........but I choose to lazy around and let my mind go into over drive.

So i wrote about denial in my last post and sorry to disappoint you, I am not going to write about the next 4 stages in subsequent posts cuz I figured, hey....what's the point. Not sure I really believe that they necessarily follow in that order any way.

Most of you may have heard the Labrinth song featuring Emeli Sande "beneath your beautiful" really lovely song, powerful words that kinda remind me of  how high we can build walls sometimes that it seems an almost impossible task for anyone to climb and reach to the other side. The weirdest part is we carry on like that effortlessly.............I can relate!

People build walls for different reasons. I have a few myself. Every one has a story and a history that has led them to be the way they are so, it is wise for us to first not judge people for being the way they are.

Having said that, some people  tend to use this as an excuse to act out and be selfish and inconsiderate towards others...............they only end up causing people around them more hurt and pain. This usually results in a ripple effect as it gives those that they have hurt reasons to build their own walls as well.

In life we always have a plethora of choices, whatever choices we make, we should consider how it affects the people in and around our lives. While I agree that it is not easy to be in the whatever shoes we individually wear, it is still not fair to stomp all over those who may genuinely care, and have decided to weather "our storm" with us, just because they are easily accessible to us. Remember that they are there by choice.

Let us always learn to appreciate what we have, before time makes us appreciate what we had! Of all the bad things that can happen to us in life, one of such is waking up one day to finally realize what
we have been missing, or the biggest mistake we have made.............only problem is we are too late. Of all the worst kinds of pain, the pangs of regret ranks high up there.

DENIAL

They say this is the first stage...............................

When one is unable to admit the truth or the true situation.

Unbelief  that the familiar would no longer be familiar. This is very much like seeing something right in front of you, the usual practice is for you to reach for it, but now...........you are trying to wrap your head around the fact that you cannot reach for it. Not because it isn't there anymore, not because it has been moved beyond your reach.........you just cannot.

Worse still, it seems to remain un-dented.

And so you begin to convince your self that this is not true and that maybe your mind is even playing tricks on you.

Everyone around you begins to talk sense into you and at first, you say to them "you don't understand, if only you can see my own point of view. I can actually see better than you because i have a prime seat  yada yada yada"

But it is as real as the next person is to you and nobody gets it and you don't know why.

Well............i don't know why either.